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Fierce Living

I've learned a few techniques that make it possible for me to recover from the damages caused by runaway emotions. Daily practice of what I call Fierce Living, has put me back in control of my life. I share what I've learned on this blog because I am convinced that what works for me will work for others.

Welcome to My World

Thursday, December 4, 2014

I'm a big fan of The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon, and I'm a little surprised by it. I'm surprised because Mr. Fallon does something that I usually don't like--he makes every show about himself. But he does it so well that I enjoy it.


I like to get to know celebrities. Don't we all? After all, celebrities are very successful and interesting people, and we might learn something from listening to them, right? 

There's another reason I like to get to know, especially actors. Many actors seem to share my thoughts, my attitudes, and my values on the subject of how we should treat others. In other words, they seem more accepting and less judgemental than the general public.

You may not agree. I know that many don't, and that's ok. Agree or not, you probably understand why I usually expect the guest on the show to be the center of attention. But that doesn't happen on the Tonight Show.

When Fallon is alone on the set, it's all about him, and why not? It's his show. But when he's joined by a guest--shall we say, Taylor Swift, it's never all about her. It's about Jimmy and Taylor. 

It's different with Jimmy because he's created a wonderful little world that's all about playful, non-judgmental interactions. Jimmy has fun, the guests have fun, and I have fun watching. When I say I enjoy watching the show, I'm understating the facts. I don't just enjoy the show; I get completely caught up in all that positive emotion.

I don't only enjoy watching; I want to be like Jimmy Fallon. I want to have a little world of my own where I can, just for a little while, forget about war, disease, natural disasters, and the inhumanity of mankind. I want to enjoy everything right with life. I hope you enjoy this world with me.

Princess Amy

"Off with his head!"
-- Queen of Hearts, Alice in Wonderland


Deep inside the brain, there is a region that's known to be the center of intense emotion or, as I like to call them, the emotions of survival. Known as the limbic system, its job is to identify potential threats and then kick-start responses to deal with them. 



Princess Amy


The amygdala (uh - MIG - duh - luh) is just one of the named regions of the limbic system and its job is to work with other structures to regulate mood. For example, the amygdala interacts with the prefrontal cortex to generate and process the major emotions of anger, happiness, disgust, surprise, sadness, and particularly fear.

My amygdala can be quite dramatic. I think of her as a spoiled little brat who throws tantrums when she doesn’t get her way. I call her Princess Amy. Amy has a lot in common with the Queen of Hearts in the Lewis Carroll storyAlice Through the Looking Glass. 

That queen is the ruthless ruler of Wonderland. She is happy only when she wins and she always plays by her own rules. When she disapproves of someone's behavior, she yells, "Off with his head!" Once when Alice was running as fast as she possibly could to escape the chess pieces chasing her across the game board, the queen challenged her to "Run faster!" 

Princess Amy does the same. "Run for your life!" is one of her favorite commands. And just like the Queen of Hearts, she screams “Off with their heads!” In every case the only person in danger of losing his head is me.

The Queen of Hearts is despised and avoided by all the inhabitants of Wonderland because they live in fear of her. But I know that Princess Amy isn't really a despot. She actually has my best interests at heart. It's just that, like me, she's afraid that we're going to fail at life too. Instead of fearing her, I try to remember to show compassion. It helps in this regard to think of her as a frumpy little bluebird who is cute and funny even when she's hotted-up to the point of incandescence. Then I can simply say, "Chill, Amy. Everything is OK. I've got this."
 

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